Viral Spain 16th December 2021.

 

Viral Spain Blog 16^th December 2021.

Do you talk to your hairdresser? If you are a woman this is a silly question. From my limited experience of women's hairdressing, that is half the reason to go there! However, to say the least, I have a very varied experience of haircuts, from being forced to have one as a teenager (aspiring to Rolling Stone 'styles' ) to these days quite liking them.

Yesterday's pre-Christmas trim was actually enjoyable. After three or four years I know the barber quite well. He is a portly 40ish bald local man who I knew had a tale or two to tell. Feeling my feet more in Spanish I decided to launch into conversation. His comment on the cold mornings set us off and I told him of my cold cold bike ride some 19Km. along the valley on Tuesday morning (for my spanish class as it happens). He was impressed, 'not like you are a spring chicken nor nothing' he said (roughly translated ) so I told him how exercise and meditation help keep me from ageing too much. Mentioning meditation was the key to his world of strange experiences. He sees himself as meditating all day as he cuts hair. He said he has amazing powers of concentration which started when he was nine with an extraordinary experience of disappearing into a source of light. These went on for three or four years but nowadays he simply has experiences of disappearing into objects! He was speaking in a heavy local accent through a mask. I questioned him pretty carefully and think I got this correctly. Maybe it was just his pet mouse disappearing!

You never know what you are going to learn in Orgiva. It is a place where every third foreigner practices some esoteric method of personal development but I did not expect to find Orgiva's alternative soul in the hairdressers.

I was just looking at Orgiva Massive face book community page (seeking the ultimate in alternative practices with which to entrance you) but read of the death of a Quaker Friend. I am saddened by her death even though this great lady had been in and out of hospital and care homes and I suspect was ready to leave us. Apparently she had a peaceful end with her daughter and grandson beside her. I guess we all hope for that and as one well wisher commented on face book it cannot be taken for granted these days.

Inevitably for us oldies this brings up thoughts of mortality, especially to one who is 69 tomorrow. Not so old I tell myself . I am just about the oldest in my men's group but some way from oldest in my bio dance group. I suppose I might have another twenty years. Each bit of reflection, each delve into consciousness brings me to a greater determination to make the most of my last decades. I can't recall if I have mentioned a final afternoon of my last men's group training looked at life purpose. I am now thinking I do not need a great project, a new business or whatever rather a growing awareness of how good my life is already. I have just taken a cup of coffee out onto our terrace, enjoyed the cool air and the recently risen sun, the large Jakaranda tree and the very blue sky. Inside is my lovely wife, emotional and physical warmth, and our lovely children are travelling many many miles to join us next week.

So despite Covid and brexit and global warming lets all do our best to be grateful for what we have and strive to make the world a better place especially for those who have least.

Merry Christmas, felices fiestas.

 

Viral Spain 9^th December 2021.

I have just been looking at the calendar to see if I could work out why I did not write a Blog last week. I can't, so then I looked at Facebook to see if I had written one; NO. My memory is not as good as I would like!

Yesterday I got a letter from the bank asking for me to log on to internet banking to give them an up to date email address. Unfortunately I cannot find the little code maker they supply for getting into internet banking. I guess my next step is to see if I can satisfy the requirements for phone banking!

Inconsequential happenings I suppose, but they feel significant to me because this Summer when we were in the UK I went into the bank to sort this all out and promised myself I would log on once a month so I would remember the numbers or where I keep them, where the codifier is, etc. Next thought I had about internet banking; yesterday.

This would all matter less if the bank would give Sarah and I (joint account holders)

equal access. They won't.

Makes me wonder how even older, even less competent people manage? I guess they do not have internet banking.

Anyway, gripe over, lets talk about my canoeing last Friday. I remember that!

It was a cold but sunny day, temperature just climbing to 18'c by the sea. (Yes that is quite warm for you Brit dwellers.) The forecast showed a gap in the windy weather with much of the coastal sea conditions 'rizada'. That means 'curly' but having just looked it up in the dictionary, to be sure of my facts, I am f-cked, or my story is. It also means slightly choppy. That is exactly how it was. I find a slight chop really uncomfortable in the canoe. I thought 'rizada' meant smooth and curly, which is how it usually is when the forecast says 'rizada'. Anyway despite hints of nausea I was able to enjoy being afloat, the sun, the sea, the dark cliffs and the tiny beaches.

And when I got in I remembered the steep beach-side steps. I wheeled the canoe on its rickety home made trolley up to the steps and was beginning the lift when a man walking past offered help. Wonderful, we had the canoe up the steps and onto the roof of the car in one smooth movement. What I wondered though is why this happens so rarely. The man was Belgium. Are the 'helping people' norms different with different nationalities? Do I normally look so competent? Is it a man thing? We men are supposedly bad at asking for help. I think that is the one! Ask Chris, ask. And maybe look less confident?

This is in danger of becoming a gripe piece: maybe if I ask questions it is not a gripe. Why do hearing aids cost SO much? For the price I have been quoted I could buy three electric mountain bikes, or four modular canoes ( a new direction planned to reduce lifting problems) or nine pairs of glasses with graduated lenses. I could even get a similar micro electronic device, a mobile phone for 11% of the price of audiofonos.

The man in the shop tried to baffle me with science talking of miniature processors and complex interlinking of the two units. I actually think he was talking b----cks! Surely even if you are a bit deaf the brain still does the processing to determine sound direction. Okay they have to be high quality mini-amplifiers with an exceptionally good selectivity and boosting of certain frequencies but 2000 euros each?

Anyway, I hope not too much of a gripe piece and that you are all lining yourselves up for a great festive season.

Viral Spain 9th December 2021

 

Viral Spain Blog 25^th November 2021.

Bananas, yes bananas, they are an important part of our life! Yesterday morning I popped into the greengrocers. I asked what bananas they had and was pointed to some short stumpy ones grown locally and two euros a kilo. We are on a buy local drive at the moment so I bought some asking for one or two ready to eat next day and felt pretty pleased with myself.

What is it they say comes before a fall?

This morning porridge was made, lightly cooked bananas within, mmm breakfast on a cold morning! No! The banana had a sort of green taste. Sarah says floury. Anyway they were barely edible. We will see if they improve with further ripening but Sarah might buy some standard bananas this morning just in case!

I find life to be like that, if not full of the unexpected, at least with a healthy measure of it. Take last weekend, we had a men's group training weekend. It was due to be about designing our initiation. We had two highly experienced trainers over. On Friday morning our parent organisation in the UK phoned to say they would not be releasing their Mentoring Handbook to us. There has been a chequered history of the UK people helping then not helping us, their Spanish off shoot. We were not therefore very surprised. And being adaptable our trainer team decided to give us a weekend on mentoring instead.

It seems we are finally severing our UK connection.

Anyway it meant I had a weekend learning about mentoring which to be honest I don't know if I would have opted for. I was a probation officer in the UK for 22 years and latterly took part in training at least a dozen student probation officers, even did a lecture or two at Exeter University. There are also my 40 weekends of Psychotherapy training lurking in the back ground. On Friday I was not sure how relevant my old experiences might be to 'mentoring'. Also my career did finish 21 years ago. However by the end of the weekend I began to feel a growing surge of confidence, even competence!

On Sunday afternoon we looked at our current motivations and life purpose, something we might work on with mentorees. First though we need to look at ourselves and ask 'what makes me get up in the morning with a smile on my face? '

The answer for me is a mixed bag of activities and plans that do not comprise a fulfilling whole. We have been set the task of finding our current life purpose in the next four months. I have some work to do.

One question is how different is it if one is retired and nearly 70? Tell me what you think older readers! Meantime my dear friend and daily correspondent in Australia is saying I have more to offer because of my age. He lists the qualities and experiences I can bring to my life purpose. I shall spare my blushes (and maybe yours ) and not list them here.

This all may be true but certainly bucks the societal trend, as I perceive it, that the old be put out to grass and largely ignored. Maybe I will be testing that norm.

Now though it looks as if it might have warmed up a bit out side and I shall hop on my bike for a stimulating 40 minutes of pedalling in the sun.

Thank you for reading this far. Do put an emoji to show you have read it. I value my readers! Go well.

Fuck it.

     It has been a long time since my last blog. And now just a minute ago I read that PSA levels decrease over two years, so this 'long time' is not long enough.
     I went to the hospital yesterday for a blood test and chest xray. This was a strong reminder of having had cancer.Until just nowI thought that the blood test might give me an all clear result.No. It is two years of waiting.
      So .... I wait and do my total health meditation every day and wonder what else I should do; More organic food, less cured meat, more fruit and vegetables, more exercise......right now I want to say 'fuck it' I just want to be normally healthy like I have been all my life.

The Visitors.

       What happened to that month?  Well we had six separate visitors in the five weeks since I last posted. It has been a welcome distraction except of course each visitor asks how I am with that meaningful look that says they mean how am I following radiotherapy.
        And the answer has varied. In the first two weeks I was eagerly awaiting the end of side effects, and enjoying NOT traveling two hours every afternoon. 'My' nurse had said it would take two weeks. 
    During the third week I was feeling very fed up that it was taking longer. In the fourth week I kept thinking all was back to normal until I felt a twinge while peeing or having sex, or detected soreness of skin as I wore a tighter belt or tried to strim.
       In the fifth week I have forgotten all about it, until our sixth guest asked, and then rather a strong reminder on Monday when the hospital rang with my follow up appointment.
        In fact that phone call brought a lot up for me. I am waiting for the all clear. The appointment was brought forward to just before I go to Greece on 15th June. So it is still a long wait, especially as I doubt I will hear for a few days so will probably be in Greece.And until I hear I won't quite feel clear of it all, even though I had a feeling some six or seven weeks ago that the cancer had gone.
           The phone call also reminded me of all having cancer has involved and how I hate having to deal with hospitals. How they did not read the note I left saying when I was going to Greece. How I am not told anything in advance about what will happen when I attend on 13th......and so on.
             And  as I write this there is a lump in my throat hiding a wad of sadness.
           The final hurdle awaits.

One last time...

       My last radio session was different in two ways. I only discovered last week that the sessions can be of higher intensity and noted on Monday that the machine 'fired' at me from seven directions instead of five. On my last session this was back to five.
         The other difference was the notable friendliness of the staff saying goodbye and good luck. The most friendliness in eight weeks!
          So it is all over now. What do I think and feel? My last posting covers a lot of this. The other thing to add is that it has not really penetrated to the deeper levels of me....psychologically I mean!....that it is over.
               Now I wait. Will keep you posted.

Breakdown

     It happened twice last week: the radiotherapy machine was having a bad patch and stopped working after we were already there waiting, as I say twice. At least we did some shopping one day and saw our children the other.
        Now this is my last day......it has been a wearing process. And  it is two or three months until I get the all clear.
        I feel like there are some things I will miss.One is always having something to do in the afternoons, a trip out. And then there is the more illusive and surprising sense of missing having cancer. Those of you that have read this all through will know that I have benefited from much kindness. It has not been everywhere I have looked for it, nor consistent, but definitely there. I will miss this and have resolved to give out more kindness to others so the relationships of kindness continue.
          I am pondering what else I will miss. If I am honest there is a sort of buzz in all this: a weird excitement. I will miss this too.
          I might even miss writing this blog ......for completeness though I will at minimum tell you about today's last treatment and what I am wanting to assume will be the good news when it comes.