Viral Spain Blog 31^st March 2022.

Riding on a bus in a third world country my companion Peter seems to have disappeared . I asked another passenger who I knew and she could only make the vaguest of suggestions. It seemed he must have got off at the last village, but why? Would we manage to reconnect. This was a dream I had last night, and in fact Peter disappeared some thirty years ago after being college, holiday, and drinking friends for more than ten years. Last I heard he was moving to Bristol, maybe even promised to send me his new address, but I never heard another word from or of him.

Peter was not a man one could get close to, not a man of feelings or connection, but we seemed to knock along pretty well together. We both liked cycling, and talking about ideas. He could be a bit negligent about all sorts of things. His mother once said to me 'Peter will not push himself ´. So I guess I was not the only one never informed of his new address.

Why though has he surfaced in my dreams now? And why did the dream have a strangely disturbing feel to it? I guess I never mourned the end of the friendship. It had no clear ending. For a long time I expected he would be in touch. Feelings are still lurking. It is something of an insecure time for us too. We keep getting ill, and now I have a tooth to be extracted. And we leave for the UK in nine days. I find it boring when people go on about their health concerns so I won't. One's own are somehow fascinating and we long to talk about them but other's are so dull. Why is that? Maybe you see it differently?

I will just tell you though that I have it on good authority from no less than the Harvard School of Medicine that you cannot do anything to boost your immune system. Or at least there is no evidence of anything working. In vitrio testing of animal tissue suggests the absence of some micro nutrients might make a difference but as in every other case they say more research is needed. So there is little point in going overboard with vitamin C or having cold baths. The best they can offer is to keep your overall health up to scratch. And maybe (yes you guessed it, more research is needed ) keep your stress levels under control.

So for me it is more meditation, even less alcohol and coffee and avoiding those places where close contact with many people occurs. No difficulty in avoiding metro trains but Biodance maybe a bio hazard! Then we have that flight to catch. Then again, after three jabs, and no contact with anyone much Sarah and I both got ill in January and tested positive for Covid! But I am in danger of doing what I said I would not do...

Trains, so many people seem to really like them. I do too, sometimes. I do not like them crowded, and sometimes the cost is prohibitive. But my clever wife sought tickets between Bristol and Rugby for us to drop our hire car and head to the canal boat and they were going to cost 142 pounds for two. But some scouting around found us tickets for 65 pounds. And not just two but six tickets, you may have heard of the rail web site which divides the journey up into separate tickets for shorter stretches to reduce the overall cost. I had no idea it would save this much. It is called raileasy.co.uk. I can only assume that tickets are far cheaper per mile for shorter stretches because there is more competition. Anyway it is great to save so much and without having to book on the only two days that very cheap deals are widely available.

Okay that is all from me. I won't be taking my lap top for our two weeks in England but hopefully I will manage to keep you posted next week. Stay healthy.

 

Viral Spain Blog 24^th March 2022.

Did you get the brown dust treatment last week? The mountains around here disappeared behind a fog of tiny suspended sand particles from the Sahara. We have had milder versions before. This was much denser and brought down by heavy rain to give a yellow brown coating to all horizontal surfaces and many vertical. We envied our neighbour whose house is painted a creamy brown colour on which the stain hardly showed.

Luckily we saw an add by enterprising friends offering pressure washing. We booked them and headed north for a weekend with daughter and partner. We drove 300km. on Thursday (hence no blog) and they caught the train down to Ciudad Real after work on Friday. We were all staying in Almagro. It is a picturesque place, with new houses built to look like the older ones and no blocks of flats anywhere near the centre. The main square is surrounded by wooden buildings. To be honest I rarely get excited by buildings but enjoy the historic atmosphere they create and love to visit new landscapes. The town is surrounded by very green undulating countryside peppered with volcanoes and castles. We climbed a very steep track to see a dramatic hill top fortification. I was pleased to find I could!

Next day we went to see a volcano. It was shut! No really. There was a little pay hut and a locked gate and the whole volcano was fenced off.

It was Sarah's birthday on the Saturday so we went for a posh meal. The food was very good but unfortunately my wild pig came alone, a huge plateful of delicious sliced meat with nothing else. I am worried that this reveals my lack of finesse in the food department, but I longed for a chip or two.

Our return on Monday was easy. The rain held off until after we got here. Alas the clean up had not taken place. We learnt while we were away that it wouldn't but it was still a disappointment to see the skin of mud half way across every tile. Heavy rain had created a semi clean effect but done nothing for the walls nor windows.

And now it is back again. The brown rain is spattering. The mountains sit behind a yellowish veil. The wind is howling and the dust spreading.

I feel grateful that it is not bombs and bullets besieging us. Our weekend was a good escape from thoughts of war.

It was also another chance to continue to get to know our 'son in law'. (They are not married but he has become somehow more than daughters partner.) We had some good conversations and these usually veer between fun and seriousness. I told them how I like sometimes in a low moment to think of all the people that love me. Alex later said how he hoped I realised he was on the list. I was so touched. It was both the sentiment and that he felt able to share it.

So, an escape, some significant sharing, and beautiful countryside and town. Even the predicted rain held off.

And now alas I am back to the sore throat and headache malaise that has been coming and going since Covid over a month ago. I thought I was over it. I will be.

Go well my friends.

 

Viral Spain Blog 11^th March 2022.

Would I or wouldn't I? Sitting in the opening circle of Biodance on Wednesday evening I did not know. It could be embarrassing and raise nothing. I wanted to see if people were minded to contribute to a collection for UNICEF's children in Ukraine campaign.

A few people spoke then I took the plunge. I am so pleased I did. We raised in total 175 euros. Since then I have been trying to get UNICEF's UK website to accept the money! I hope the non functioning of the computer is due to an over whelming number of donations. I shall break off from this when the Uk opens for business to phone them.

Wouldn't it be great if all the charities helping out in Ukraine were over whelmed with donations. I even felt quite optimistic when I got home on Wednesday evening and counted the money. Since then I have had a little foray into the British newspapers a kind neighbour brought back from the UK on Monday, but alas soon descended from my relatively positive mood. Now I am back to my media abstinence. I have a friend who accused me, a few months ago of carrying the troubles of the world on my shoulders. I cannot deny it. I am not sure how to be light hearted and care free when there is a pandemic, global warming, Brexit and a war.

I aim not to think about these areas except in a problem solving sort of way. I meditate twice a day. I go out into the garden to enjoy the view, the flowers and the sunshine whenever it is sunny, and quite often when it is not. I spend a minute or two stroking the f—king cat whenever.

I even have a therapy session every three weeks, maybe I will look specifically at 'carrying' less next time.

My friend and therapist shared her woes and then I shared mine, an hour each way. This is what we do. It means no money changes hands and I get to practice my therapeutic skills as well as receiving some. We have been doing it for years. One might imagine it would be difficult to move from deep self examination and the woe that can sometimes arise in this, to a position of support, reflection and re-framing that might be needed immediately after. In practice it has never arisen. We do take five or ten minutes at change over for a breath of fresh air or a pee, then somehow we can just proceed. I guess both of us have been involved in therapeutic work for decades. Receiving as well as giving sessions is a normal part of being a therapist.

In my session last week I picked my friend's brains about relaxation or guided meditation recordings and she recommended an 'App' called Insight Timer. I have now used it seven times, mostly with the same recording. It is called `Yoga Nidra for Sleep and Rest ' and lasts half an hour. It includes tracking through the body one finger at a time. So far it has only sent me to sleep for a siesta and not at night but there are nearly three quarters of a million meditations on the app, so I can probably find one that works for me....or die trying!!

I just tried UNICEF again and they could not help me as I have a non UK post code.

They suggested I ring again after nine when head office will be open. Who knew it could be so difficult to give. Sarah and I must have spent a total of 3 hours on this so far. Alright some of that is registering my new credit card and updating my banks contact details. I feel I need to stick with UNICEF as that is what I told the dance group. One more call!

Go well my friends, and don't mention the war!!

 

Viral Spain Blog 3^rd March, 2022.

Another Biodance start to the blog....showing last week in a new light! The altered state I referred to might have been because I was coming down with something. I felt a bit ill over the next few days...or was it a blip on what proves to be a long Covid recuperation? Anyway the Biodance bit felt pretty good at the time.

I was so tired last night I did not go at all. Some gentle exercise in the sunshine did little to revive me.

Although it was an exceptional day. I did nearly four hours driving comprising two trips to Motril. Not a usual thing. We are thinking of swapping our car for an electric version. I was test driving a Kia E- Niro. It was very speedy...with about 200hp it is not surprising. I always remember how the light of my Dad's driving life was a Humber Sceptre with 88hp and of mine, a black Peugeot 205 GTI with 105 ! Things have moved on.

Anyway I wanted to try it on mountain roads, not just because it is fun to drive fast cars on mountain roads, no there was a logical reason of course. We do most of our driving on mountain roads. So what better than the route back home.

On Tuesday night I was very nervous. It was my farewell to the men's group ceremony. I could not work out what was making me nervous. I guess it was new event to me, never having left before! No that did not fit. I have just thought it is more likely a relic from my childhood. The men's group had become my family and family events often disappointed. ( I don't much like Christmas even now!)

Anyway it was brief and touching. One man even brought me some daffodils from his garden. That particularly touched me, something extra. In my experience people seldom give men flowers, which makes it all the sweeter.

Afterwards I felt hollow. A significant feature of the last three or so years is over, and by my choosing. There has also been a good, optimistic feeling of new possibilities. I have in mind to meet several of the guys for a beer or coffee. There is also a new men's group started in the valley. And having only Biodance makes that group more significant.

I have just shut my eyes for a minute. Mmm, again, it is so lovely. A heavy eyed gift from an indirect route. Sarah and I both have those sounds in the head that don't exist. Luckily they do not seem to be indicative of schizophrenia, rather the more mundane and much preferable tinnitus. A specialist has given Sarah some tablets that are supposed to help so I have tried them too. They consist of supplements and melatonin. It is the latter I suspect of having given me the heavy eye lids.

And so far there has been no noticeable impact on my head full of sounds. At least I do not get Sarah's heavy lorry noise, rather a chorus of roosting starlings or sometimes a more varied twittering. For a long time I thought I was really hearing birds....then I realised I heard them in the dark as well.

I have not yet updated you on my friend seeking romance in Cambodia. After a lovely week things seem to have taken a turn for the worse as the new love is not happy that my friend still corresponds with two Filipino women!

Yes I know it is called living vicariously, but this way I get some of the fun but little of the heartache and I stay married.

And you CAN try this at home. Have a great weekend.

 

Viral Spain 24^th February, 2022.

Beautiful brown eyes, gazes exchanged, seconds pass, maybe a minute; It is Bio- dance night again! I arrived feeling a bit out of sorts, so much so that ten minutes into the dancing I was wondering about going home. Somehow this morphed into feeling wonderful, loved, loving and deeply content. I wish I could remember the dance that did it, or the partner. By the end of the session I had a sense of being in an altered state and was trying to think of words to describe it. None came.

So, yes I did enjoy Bio-dance last night. There were 29 of us, the biggest group ever. In fact it was the largest I have encountered of any sort of group in Orgiva in my 22 years here. Bio-dance appears to be taking off! I do not understand why this is happening now when previously such groups have staggered on with barely enough members.

Anyway I shall not I suppose find the answer, but I will enjoy. Last night it was a lovely escape from sadness about the situation in the Ukraine. Now I read eight people have already died in shelling. Can you imagine the feeling of being shelled in your home city as you try to get last minute supplies in or look for a safe place to be. I also note the views of people on the street in Moscow saying there has got to be a better way, and feeling ashamed of their country.

I am guessing this is not about any of the things that Putin says it is about. Most of them, according to a BBC fact check turn out not to be true anyway. No, I think this is about controlling Ukraine's mineral and other resources which are considerable. What do you think?

As I have been writing this I have been swapping backwards and forwards on the lap top with El Pais in English, The Guardian, and the BBC to keep up to date with this news. I shall stop now. There is a danger I will become preoccupied and increasingly miserable. Maybe I will see if there is a charity I can send to that will help the war victims. This might help me deal with the situation.

For now though I will move on.

At the end of last week we had an interesting three days of speculation and discussion and I cycled up to near Cañar to view a cortijo for sale. Two people very dear to us were interested in a property. We were on tender hooks, will they, won't they? It is a three bedroomed new build with 5000m2 of land for 75,000 euros, a bargain we all thought. Alas in the end they decided it was beyond their means. It does however signal that these dear souls are serious in planning to move to live in this area. That is good news indeed!

Also last week we had a Woofer as we call them here: A helper who works for their board and lodge. I found it took a little while to feel relaxed with her but during her four days we exchanged information on diet (ginger is good, lemon is very good, sugar is out!) and shared some yoga, plus I taught her how to do a ten minute grounding meditation. She even did the sweeping, juicing, sawing and digging we needed.

Since then we have exchanged two messages and I have sent an email. Could this be one of those very rare occasions when a casual visitor becomes a long term contact? We shall see. She is travelling Spain and France in her camper van so could be an interesting correspondent.

By the way my correspondent on his way to Cambodia arrived, missed his internet date but eventually caught up with her. How will it go? He is now being nursed by her as he has a temperature. Covid? More wait and sees.

You will be rushing to your computers next Thursday. 'Til then, enjoy all you can!

 

Viral Spain Blog, 17^th February, 2022.

What do you say after you say hello? It is a familiar question, but what do you say after you say goodbye? Not much, the person is not there, so the ending revolves around in one's head. I left a men's group on Tuesday after three plus years of sharing and connection.

I was no longer alongside with the aims nor some of the methods, and the timing had always been wrong for me. But....it is hard. Sadness and thoughts of missing out predominate. Fortunately there will be a brief leaving ceremony which I suspect will help.

Changes in life can be difficult or can be an adventure. My friend in Australia flies off to Cambodia this week partly to meet some women he has been connecting with via the internet. He may start a new life there. He is seventy!

Now I will begin to think of what new things I will take on. Do I need any? The last two years have been shaped by restrictions and Covid concerns. At last the chance seems to be there. Is that how you see it? Are you opening out your life?

I ventured out to canoe on the sea on Sunday. I had missed several possibilities and finally made it. What a joy it was. Like the big bike I ride I did recently it took a while to relax and enjoy. The sea caves were the key. West of La Herradura are several big enough to enter. The waves make strong crashing and bubbling sounds, there are bright red algae in the sunless corners and I have a sense of being in a slightly dangerous place. I love it.

The sea was almost flat which meant I could explore tiny inlets in the cliffs. Down one I found a beach barely bigger than my canoe and landed. It was magical. I had to keep my head down as the cliff came forward over the pebbles. I could not see beyond the tiny bay and felt totally immersed in this wild place. Inevitably I had a flask of coffee and sat and sipped in a state of delight.

Not a huge experience like the elephant story from last week but we do not need very many of those in a life time.

It feels good though to still be having little adventures at 69 and also to have a growing sense of satisfaction in my life. It is very easy to let my comfort zone contract and hold me back. I have to fight a bit harder to keep my life interesting.

Lately I have been focussing on my relationship with Sarah. What is good about it and what would make it even better? I am amazed to find that just holding that question and doing one or two tiny things ( peeling some mandarins for her, emptying the organic rubbish, a bit of a back rub ) has made an enormous difference to how I feel. I hesitate to say it, but it is rather like being in love all over again.... maybe with a bit more realism!

Okay, no more lovey dovey stuff ....at least not ´til next time! Which brings me to some questions about this blog. A bit like a relationship....what do you like about it and what would make it even better?

Tell me what you think and as usual feel free to comment on any other aspect.

Perhaps I can end with a little advertisement. I am looking to take on one or two people for psychotherapy sessions. Costs are negotiable and we would have one or two free sessions to start to see how it might go. I would also consider internet sessions. Nudge that friend (or yourself! ) who you know needs a bit of help.

So that is it for another week. Enjoy all you can.

 

Viral Spain Blog, 10^th February, 2022.

Have had further thoughts about banking difficulties...and actually it is the conversations on the phone I find difficult, not the logging in etc. And it is down to poor hearing which has happened in my life over decades. So it's a hearing thing not an old age thing!

I was hoping for a big improvement with hearing devices. So far no, I shall persevere.

I am excited and looking forward to the resumption of 'normal life' after being ill. Still waiting, it is taking a long time. It is a good feeling though. Normal life seems pretty good right now.

And warm weather is just around the corner. I love wearing nothing but shorts and teeshirts.....well you know, with the requisite underwear! I find here there is a relatively short period between too cold and too hot but I love it.

We have recently been inundated with voluntary helper applicants.....we still call them WWOOFERS from the original website that was for willing workers on organic farms! Now, 'workaway' and 'helpX' are more about cheap travel and meeting people. In truth the work they do in return for their board has always been of variable quality. Now we only take over 25's and there is some improvement. I remember young people not used to physical work lifting a pick a few inches and tapping the ground with it. We have had some great one's too. Here we do not have as much work as we had at the Cortijo and it is nice to meet and get to know a traveller and share experiences. We have a good cook (at least I hope her claims are true!) coming on Sunday. Her references talk of her doing a sterling job of clearing up after a party as well. We have had 'good cooks' before who made an incredible mess of the kitchen.

Funny thing is, nearly all our Wwoofers turn out to be good looking young women. I assure Sarah it is just down to availability and who had the best request and references. I am not sure she is convinced.

Next week then we will get lots of sweeping up done. I shall have some vegan cooking tips and one or two meals prepared in my slots. There will be a noticeable absence of oranges and olives rolling around the patios. All leaves will be swept up and several annoying stick trees will be for the chop. Do you know the ones I mean? This time of year they are literally tall sticks but they are an invasive species slowly creeping into our garden from the ham store grounds.

I am noticing how there are not always interesting occurrences in my life about which to write in this blog.....so here is a story from my past. My 30^th birthday in fact.

Do you know what a cross elephant looks like? I didn't, but there is no mistaking the sort of swinging thing they do with their trunks. I was travelling alone through India and out for a walk in Corbet wild life park with a Dutch woman. We had seen the park elephants used for tiger spotting rides. Then we saw an elephant ahead on the track. This was unmistakably different; looking at us, not happy. He walked towards us. We kind of shrunk to the ground, holding each other, terrified. A few yards away he left the track and we thought he was gone. Then there was a wrenching sound, undergrowth being torn up by a great force. It was the big guy circling round ! He came back on the track just behind us, gave us a glance then walked on. We watched in silence until he was gone.

Happy adventures.